Feel Like A Monster album art

Feel Like A Monster

by John Michael Howell

Summary

"Feel Like A Monster" dives deep into the struggle of feeling like you've hurt someone you love. The song captures the pain of regret and the inner battle of becoming something you're not.

Full Analysis

The song's overall theme is about the emotional turmoil that comes from letting someone down. It explores the feelings of guilt and shame, portraying a person who feels like a monster because of their actions. The idea of transformation into something monstrous reflects how we can sometimes act against our true selves, especially when overwhelmed by strong emotions. It’s a raw look at how our actions can haunt us, especially when they affect those we care about.

Verse 1

I hear a roar in the distance, or is it in my mind?
There I go reminiscing, back on that night
I showed my claws, gripped my teeth like a shark
It's true, when I think of you

This verse sets the stage for the song's emotional conflict. The "roar" suggests a sense of danger or a looming threat, possibly representing the internal struggle that the singer feels. Reminiscing about "that night" indicates a moment of regret that haunts him. The imagery of showing claws and gritting teeth paints a vivid picture of aggression and defense, suggesting that he felt attacked or forced to react in a way that hurt someone he loved. It establishes the monster theme right away, showing how he connects his past actions to his feelings about the person he’s addressing.

Chorus

I feel like a monster, dying, left to broken heart
It never meant to do you any harm
That night the beast came out, I really let you down
It hurts to know I left you in the dark

The chorus is the emotional core of the song. Here, the singer admits to feeling like a monster, which reveals his vulnerability. This feeling of being a monster is tied to guilt over hurting someone he never intended to harm. The line about "the beast came out" suggests that he feels like he lost control, while “left you in the dark” emphasizes the pain of abandonment and regret. It's a powerful way to express how one moment can change everything and leave deep scars.

Verse 2

You were gone in an instant, never said goodbye
Felt your heart growing distant, now you're out of sight
I showed my claws, gripped my teeth like a shark
Oooo it's true, when I think of you

In this verse, the immediate loss becomes clear. The sudden departure of the loved one highlights the shock of losing someone close. The line about feeling their heart growing distant captures the slow fading of a connection, making the pain feel even more real. Repeating the imagery of showing claws reinforces the idea that he feels danger and aggression within himself. It’s a moment of realization that his actions have consequences, and he’s left grappling with the aftermath.

Chorus

I feel like a monster, dying, left to broken heart
It never meant to do you any harm
That night the beast came out, I really let you down
It hurts to know I left you in the dark

The repetition of the chorus reinforces the emotions tied to regret and guilt. Each time it plays, the weight of those feelings seems to grow heavier. The singer's insistence that he didn't mean to cause harm shows his desperation to justify himself, even as he recognizes that he failed. The pain of knowing he hurt someone he loved is palpable, making the chorus a powerful anchor for the song's emotional journey.

Bridge

It's so clear to see, the feeling all alone was near
What a monster I've come to be

In the bridge, the singer reflects on his loneliness and the transformation he’s undergone. The realization that he’s become a monster is heartbreaking. It shows a deep awareness of his flaws and the resulting isolation. This part acts as a moment of clarity amidst the chaos, where he acknowledges the consequences of his actions, not only on others but also on himself.

Outro

What a monster, what a monster
I've come to be

The outro brings the song to a somber close, repeating the phrase about being a monster. This repetition emphasizes his acceptance of this identity and the pain it carries. It’s almost like a resignation to the fact that his actions have changed him. There’s a sense of finality here, as he recognizes the person he has become, which is a hard truth to face.

Closing Thoughts

"Feel Like A Monster" is a poignant exploration of guilt and regret. It captures the complexity of human emotions when we hurt those we love, showcasing the internal battles we face. The imagery of a monster serves as a powerful metaphor for the darker sides of ourselves that emerge in moments of pain. Ultimately, it’s a reminder that our actions can have lasting effects, and confronting these feelings is an important step in healing.

Full Lyrics

I hear a roar in the distance, or is it in my mind?
There I go reminiscing, back on that night
I showed my claws, gripped my teeth like a shark
It's true, when I think of you
I feel like a monster, dying, left to broken heart
It never meant to do you any harm
That night the beast came out, I really let you down
It hurts to know I left you in the dark
It's so clear to see, the feeling all alone was near
What a monster I've come to be
You were gone in an instant, never said goodbye
Felt your heart growing distant, now you're out of sight
I showed my claws, gripped my teeth like a shark
Oooo it's true, when I think of you
I feel like a monster, dying, left to broken heart
It never meant to do you any harm
That night the beast came out, I really let you down
It hurts to know I left you in the dark
It's so clear to see, the feeling all alone was near
What a monster, what a monster
I've come to be
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