Unpacking McCafferty's 'If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him'

Love, Loss, and Regret

McCafferty's 2021 track "If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him" is a vivid exploration of lingering affection amidst unresolved feelings. The song captures a bittersweet longing that permeates their discography, particularly in earlier tracks like "Divva (I Murdered Nick Hartkop)" and "Graveyard." Each song weaves a complex narrative of personal relationships, laden with emotional weight that feels both specific and universal.

Thematic Consistency

In "If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him," the narrator grapples with the melancholy of past love, illustrating a tension between desire and the pain of separation. This theme echoes in "Graveyard," where McCafferty reflects on mortality and the ephemeral nature of relationships, stating,

"You’re buried in my thoughts, but I can’t dig you out."

Both songs exude a sense of unresolved connection, suggesting that some emotions refuse to be buried, no matter the passage of time.

Queer Narratives and Identity

McCafferty’s exploration of love isn't confined to traditional narratives. Tracks like "Queerball" and "Beachboy 2" offer a candid look at queer identity and the societal pressures that accompany it. In "If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him," the explicit acknowledgment of longing for someone regardless of the circumstances reflects a broader commentary on love's complexities in the queer experience. It's this nuanced approach that sets McCafferty apart in the modern emo landscape.

Production and Sound Evolution

The production of "If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him" builds on the raw, emotional sound that McCafferty has cultivated since their earlier work. With a blend of indie rock and pop punk, the track maintains a DIY aesthetic while infusing polished elements. The sonic evolution from the gritty edge of "Divva" to the more refined sounds of "If I Saw Him" highlights their growth as musicians while preserving the authenticity that fans love.

Layered Lyrics and Personal Reflection

McCafferty’s lyrics are often introspective, inviting listeners to reflect on their own experiences. In "Isn’t It Beautiful?", the juxtaposition of beauty and pain mirrors the sentiment expressed in "If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him." The line,

"I’d say something else, but I’d still want to kiss you,"

speaks to the conflict between desire and the struggle to articulate feelings. This ability to convey deep, often conflicting emotions is a hallmark of McCafferty's songwriting.

Conclusion: A Web of Connections

Examining "If I Saw Him, I'd Still Kiss Him" alongside other tracks in McCafferty's catalog reveals a layered exploration of love, identity, and emotional complexity. Each song stands on its own, yet together they create a narrative that speaks to the heart of human experience. Whether through the lens of nostalgia in "Graveyard" or the raw honesty of "Divva," McCafferty's music is a testament to the timeless nature of love and longing.