In My Mind

The song paints a vivid picture of a person battling with their own mind. There’s a contrast between the calmness of the outside world and the storm brewing inside. It explores the difficulty of expressing what’s happening internally, showing how people often overlook the struggles others face. The repeated phrase “if only you knew” highlights a longing for understanding.

Verse 1

Quiet is the city air on a summer night after it rains
Faster than a bolt of lightning
The speed of a Japanese bullet train (train)
And you know, it's always trying to stay awake (stay awake)

In this first verse, the imagery is striking. The quiet city after rain feels peaceful, but it sets up a contrast with the racing thoughts. The references to speed, like lightning and a bullet train, suggest a frantic mind. It’s like the narrator is trying hard to keep up with their own thoughts but is also aware that they can’t escape the inner turmoil.

Chorus

People say I'm quiet most of the time
If only you knew what goes on in my mind (mind)
(If only you knew, if only you knew)
What goes on in my mind (mind)
(If only you knew, if only you knew)
(I'm not toxic, I swear)

The chorus hits hard with its repetition and simplicity. It emphasizes how people perceive the narrator as quiet, missing the chaos brewing beneath the surface. The line “if only you knew” is a plea for deeper understanding. The mention of not being toxic suggests a frustration with being misunderstood; the narrator is aware of their struggles but wants to clarify that they aren't harmful to others.

Verse 2

Two in the morning, I'm lying awake
These thoughts in my brain, they come out to play
I'm replaying gumball to keep 'em away
Deep in the silence, may end up violent
What an anomaly, what is so wrong with me? (Me)

In this verse, the time of night adds to the feeling of isolation. Being awake at 2 AM often brings an extra layer of anxiety. The phrase “thoughts in my brain, they come out to play” suggests that the thoughts are uncontrollable and intrusive. The mention of “gumball” hints at a coping mechanism, perhaps something light-hearted to distract from heavier thoughts. The line about being an anomaly shows a struggle with self-identity and confusion about their own mental state.

Chorus

People say I'm quiet most of the time
If only you knew what goes on in my mind (mind)
(If only you knew, if only you knew)
What goes on in my mind (mind)
(If only you knew, if only you knew)

The chorus repeats again, reinforcing that feeling of being misunderstood. Each repetition adds to the emotional weight, almost begging for someone to genuinely understand the depth of what they’re experiencing. It’s a reminder that there’s so much more to a person than what’s visible.

Bridge

(If only you knew) what goes on in my
(If only you knew) what goes on in my
(If only you knew) what goes on in my mind
(If only you knew) what goes on in my
(If only you knew) what goes on in my
(If only you knew) what goes on, what goes on in my mind

The bridge amplifies the central theme of the song. The repetition of “if only you knew” creates a sense of urgency and desperation. It’s as if the narrator is pleading for someone to truly see them. The repetition here feels almost like a mantra, emphasizing the struggle with communication and the desire for connection.

Closing Thoughts

Overall, "In My Mind" is a raw look at mental health and the complexities of internal struggles. Lyn Lapid captures the feeling of being trapped in your own thoughts while desperately wanting others to understand. This song is relatable for anyone who feels misunderstood, making it a powerful anthem for those fighting their own battles.