d£aler

The song paints a raw picture of someone dealing with their feelings towards a past lover while juggling personal struggles. It mixes themes of love and addiction, showing how hard it is to let go. The narrator seems stuck between wanting to break free and holding onto those familiar feelings, which creates a heavy emotional weight throughout the song.

Verse 1

I spent all day tryna be sober
I drowned in my misery, crawled up on the sofa
I still love him the way I did
When I was nineteen, but it's not easy to let him know
I spent all day wishing the day was over

This verse introduces us to the narrator's internal battle. They’re trying to stay sober, but the mention of "drowned in my misery" shows how hard that is. The love for their past partner is still strong, but there’s a feeling of hopelessness. The line about wishing the day was over hints at a desire to escape their current reality, setting the stage for the rest of the song.

Chorus

I wanna
Get away, far from here
Pack my bags, get up and disappear
Tell you, "No", make it clear
I'm not coming back for fifteen years
I wanna write a note, leave it with
My next door neighbour who don't give a shit
I wanna get away, far from here
Pack my bags and tell my dealer I'll miss him
Yeah, tell my dealer I'll miss him

The chorus is where the desire for escape really shines. The repetition of wanting to "get away" emphasizes the narrator's frustration and need for change. Writing a note to the neighbor shows a wish to disconnect from everything, even if it feels like a small gesture. The mention of the dealer adds to the complexity, suggesting that even in wanting to leave, there’s still an emotional tie to that part of their life.

Verse 2

I spent all week just tryna do something
Maybe I should take a walk 'cause forget all the running
I still love him the way I did
But I should get a fucking grip
I'll never let him know that
I spent all week doing a whole load of nothing

This verse continues the theme of feeling stuck. The narrator reflects on their week, realizing they haven’t accomplished much. There’s a sense of frustration about loving someone but knowing they need to move on. The line about "getting a grip" shows self-awareness, but it also highlights the struggle of breaking away from their feelings and the inertia of their current situation.

Chorus

I wanna
Get away, far from here
Pack my bags, get up and disappear
Tell you, "No", make it clear
That I'm not coming back for fifteen years
I wanna write a note, leave it with
My next door neighbour who don't give a shit
I wanna get away, far from here
Pack my bags and tell my dealer I'll miss him
Tell my dealer I'll miss him

The second chorus echoes the first, reinforcing the urgency of the narrator's feelings. The repetitive nature of the lines captures the cyclical nature of their thoughts, almost like a mantra. It highlights that no matter how much they want to escape, there's still a sense of attachment to the past, particularly to their dealer.

Bridge

I wanna get away, far from here
Pack my bags, get up and disappear
Tell you, "No", make it clear
I'm not coming back for fifteen years
I wanna write a note, leave it with
My next door neighbour who don't give a shit

In the bridge, the desire to escape comes through even stronger. The repetition of the same lines from the chorus emphasizes that this wish is not just a fleeting thought; it's a deep-rooted longing. It’s like they’re trying to convince themselves that leaving is the only way to find peace, showing how desperate they feel.

Outro

I’ll tell my dealer I
I’ll tell my dealer I

The outro circles back to the dealer, bringing the song full circle. It reminds us of that emotional connection the narrator can’t shake off, even as they express a wish to leave. It leaves us with an unresolved feeling, just like the narrator's struggle.

Closing Thoughts

Overall, "d£aler" captures a complex mix of emotions surrounding love and addiction. Lola Young does a fantastic job of expressing the difficulty of moving on while feeling tethered to the past. The urge to escape is palpable, but there's also a sense of reality that keeps pulling the narrator back. It’s both a personal and universal struggle, making the song relatable on many levels.